While your family can bring joy, support, and more wonders, they can also cause stress, especially if you ignore conflicts and misunderstandings. Because you can’t easily cut your family off, it’s also harder to ignore conflicted relationships. You can’t ignore them like how you forget your friends when arguing. For that reason, neglected conflicts within the family are more painful and traumatizing.
You already have an idea of how close and tight a family is, so it can be drastically disappointing to realize that it might not be possible with all family members. When the conflict gets out of hand, your family’s well-being is in danger due to depression, anxiety, or stress, resulting in development issues in children exposed to hostile problems.
You should know how to approach your relatives best in handling heated topics. Below are a few tips that will help you keep the peace in your family, have calmer discussions, and deal with complex conflicts and issues like wills and estate planning.
Try to Be as Calm as Possible
You can’t avoid arguing with a family member about who’s responsible for washing the dishes or political views, and that often leads to frustration and anger building up. Both are emotional responses to conflict, but you shouldn’t let it cloud your judgment. It will be more challenging to reach a reasonable resolution to a conflict if that happens.
Be calm, even if your family has different opinions. Remember that you can always rest from a conversation and discuss it again later if your emotions have calmed down. Other healthy means of managing anger can include writing down your thoughts, doing some deep breathing, or going for a walk.
Respect Other People’s Ideas
Respect and empathy are essential parts of maintaining healthy relationships with colleagues, friends, or family, even if you have different opinions. You’re entitled to your principles and beliefs, even if it doesn’t align with other people’s views. It means staying focused on the problem at hand instead of attacking the other person’s integrity, character, and intelligence.
Bear in mind that you can’t resolve all arguments or conflicts, but you can always control how to treat your family with respect.
Establish Healthy Boundaries
You can’t control what your relative does or says during arguments, but you can control how you respond to the situation. Having boundaries is an excellent means of practicing self-respect and self-care when you’re already getting overwhelmed by the heated talk or discussion. Huge conflicts can still lead to meaningful conversations, but set boundaries and leave the conversation if the other person becomes too aggressive.
Have boundaries if you’re feeling stressed out or unsafe during a conversation. If that happens, it’s best to seek professional help, including a therapist, estate-planning attorney, or law enforcement agency. If you’re having problems communicating with your relatives, it might be time to call a professional.
Many practitioners specialize in family counseling and offer help to different members of one family. It’ll help you understand each other’s perspectives and find a resolution.
Think About the Bigger Picture
Many arguments often stem from one person emerging victorious; however, discussing with your family isn’t a battle. You should avoid that kind of belief if you want both sides to reach a reasonable resolution that you can be comfortable with. Turn family conflicts into a medium where you can hone your communication skills and work with others to ensure you’re showing respect, empathy, and active listening.
It’ll also be helpful, even in situations where you can’t find a clear resolution.
Be Attentive to Other Members
If a massive part of the argument focuses on judging the other person’s opinions or beliefs, you won’t be able to listen attentively to what they have to say. Thinking about what you should say next will also result in frustration and misunderstandings. Being an active listener is a great tool that entails summarizing messages for comprehension, asking a question, reading engaged body language, and patience.
Listen without interrupting whoever is talking. Make sure to clarify their statements to ensure you’re getting the right message. You might also find it easier to understand the other person’s opinions or reach a reasonable resolution.
Focus On What Matters Most
It’s hard to listen to your relative’s opinions. If that happens, find the time to think about how you care for them and the sacrifices they’ve made. Besides, most families have the best intentions, and they’re only doing what they think is best. You might have differences and conflicts, but they’ll still stay by your side.
Having healthy conflict resolution skills will help you handle heated topics and feel more satisfied with your discussion. If you’re in the middle of a heated talk, communication is one of the keys to reaching a reasonable resolution that will benefit everyone.
