A couple’s separation is done for the benefit of the involved and their children who may not realize it just yet. Divorce lawyers in places like Suffolk Country, NY, have seen firsthand the effects of such a significant decision on the lives of children, especially those who come to court sessions and custody-related meetings.
However, divorce can be beneficial to all parties involved. The parents will have a new chance in their lives, free to choose new partners, and have more children while ensuring the welfare of the ones they have. The children will notice profound improvements in the lives of their parents, whether they express this or not, and will be likewise impacted. It is not the effect of divorce that causes the most damage in some cases. The process of divorce, the enormous shift from one way of life to another, can be more traumatizing, but there are multiple ways the different adults around them can aid children.
Immediate Family
Parents in the middle of a divorce should still find a way to cooperate. If there is no threat of abuse involved, they must at least settle whatever differences they have aside and give their children a clear and unbiased account of the proceedings. Of course, not everything has to be revealed, just enough to settle the children’s questions and help them understand the shifting family structure better. Allow them to cry and express their disappointment. Above all, listen to whatever they have to say.
Counselors and Psychiatrists
Guidance counselors should pay attention to children whose parents are undergoing separation or divorce. Any detected warning signs of mental illness or stress should be acted upon at once. The office of a guidance counselor must be a safe and confidential space where children can express what they find challenging to say to their parents and the court. The counselor will also help them process any complicated feelings toward the situation and help them cope with the impending future.
Other Adults
Other relatives should be unbiased about the other party as they are still the child’s parent at the end of the day. To help children cope with this kind of stress, they can be encouraged to take up a new hobby like sports or arts. Doing this will give them an outlet, another area to focus on, and a way to express themselves. Other external factors ought to be considered as well — the dynamics between in-laws and former in-laws, the school environment the child is in, the child’s peers, and their teachers. Teachers should be understanding of the situation and help the child regain their momentum after a slip in their grades. Such a big thing as a divorce can extend to every aspect of their lives.
Divorce can be messy, but the relief is the signal of a new start for both parents and their children. In some cases, parents even remain friends despite remarrying. While this might not be the case every time, it pays a lot to let children see the other side of divorce beyond the mess. To get there, they must not be ignored or isolated; help in any form should be prepared for them.
